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MY NOT-SO-SECRET DIARY

Welcome to My blog! My name is Victoria Pawar and I invite you to explore my site and all that I have to offer; perhaps it will help you through your own hard times and maybe ignite your passions.

I am an open book and hope I can help break down some boundaries for people who are afraid to tell their stories, who are afraid to be vulnerable and for people who may be afraid of what is to come.

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Panic Attacks

Just saying those words, panic attack, send heat up and down my body. This is something I was keeping to myself but also something I...

GENDER REVEAL!

So when you go through IVF and genetic testing everything is very exact and scientific. That being said pregnancies are a bit different...

We made it to the OB!

After all we have been through throughout this process the first time we walked into the OB's office was quite a moment. Jaz and I looked...

Fertility Clinic Graduation

We finally made it to the day of our fertility graduation scan! There is excitement and fear which seems to be a common theme here. As...

Never Easy

We had a follow-up with our fertility doctor a week after our first and the day before our Specialist appointment. Nerves, anxiety and...

First Ultrasound

Today we had our first ultrasound and unfortunately our fertility doctor was out this week but we were seeing the other doctor in the...

Positive Test!

We found ourselves with great news. On Friday February 12th at 7:30am we got a phone call from our Fertility Doc saying that Jaz was...

Embryo Transfer - Finally!

We finally made it to this day. We finally made it to our embryo transfer day, a day I was unsure would come. When going through...

Surrogacy: from the beginning

One of the most amazing phone calls of my life came in May of 2020. Jazmine, my husbands first cousin, called to let us know she wanted...

The ultimate chair

Before you have open-heart surgery some of the questions you are aren't necessarily all about your heart. There are some questions you...

COVID Vaccine

On January 24th at 11:00am I got my 1st dose of the COVID-19 vaccine! It was an exciting yet anxiety-ridden day. I was grateful and...

Janeuary Challenge

I don't think I have talked about this much here but one thing that changed my life was finding Jane Do, a women-run, fitness brand. When...

Self-Care

Self-care means something different to everyone. Working out, meditation, journaling, taking a bubble bath, doing a face mask, you name...

One Year Surgery Anniversary

November 15th, 2020 marked one year since my open-heart surgery. 365 days ago I underwent aortic root replacement surgery. The fact that...

Surrogacy - The Beginning

Being completely open and honest I was unsure how open I wanted to be with our surrogacy journey. There are some things Jerrad and I have...

One-of-a-kind Person

The COVID-19 crisis changed quite a bit in my life, besides the normal amount! When the quarantine started I was on edge and super...

Anxiety

Anxiety is a struggle. It manifests in many different ways and is hard to describe at times. Panic attacks, heart palpitations, anxiety...

COVID-19 Crisis

I am obviously not the first person with a disease to get scared the second we started having mixed feelings about COVID-19. I remember...

Be proud of who you are & flaunt it

Everyone has their own views on what they think is beautiful. Everyone has their own thoughts on what makes them beautiful. And there are...

The Big Day -- Wedding Day

I had 1 HUGE life-changing day in 2019, November 15th -- my aortic root replacement surgery. Then I had 1 HUGE life-changing day in 2020,...

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