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MY NOT-SO-SECRET DIARY

Welcome to My blog! My name is Victoria Pawar and I invite you to explore my site and all that I have to offer; perhaps it will help you through your own hard times and maybe ignite your passions.

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I am an open book and hope I can help break down some boundaries for people who are afraid to tell their stories, who are afraid to be vulnerable and for people who may be afraid of what is to come.

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Home: Welcome

We made it to the OB!

After all we have been through throughout this process the first time we walked into the OB's office was quite a moment. Jaz and I looked...

Never Easy

We had a follow-up with our fertility doctor a week after our first and the day before our Specialist appointment. Nerves, anxiety and...

Positive Test!

We found ourselves with great news. On Friday February 12th at 7:30am we got a phone call from our Fertility Doc saying that Jaz was...

Embryo Transfer - Finally!

We finally made it to this day. We finally made it to our embryo transfer day, a day I was unsure would come. When going through...

Surrogacy: from the beginning

One of the most amazing phone calls of my life came in May of 2020. Jazmine, my husbands first cousin, called to let us know she wanted...

The ultimate chair

Before you have open-heart surgery some of the questions you are aren't necessarily all about your heart. There are some questions you...

COVID Vaccine

On January 24th at 11:00am I got my 1st dose of the COVID-19 vaccine! It was an exciting yet anxiety-ridden day. I was grateful and...

Janeuary Challenge

I don't think I have talked about this much here but one thing that changed my life was finding Jane Do, a women-run, fitness brand. When...

Self-Care

Self-care means something different to everyone. Working out, meditation, journaling, taking a bubble bath, doing a face mask, you name...

COVID-19 Crisis

I am obviously not the first person with a disease to get scared the second we started having mixed feelings about COVID-19. I remember...

Be proud of who you are & flaunt it

Everyone has their own views on what they think is beautiful. Everyone has their own thoughts on what makes them beautiful. And there are...

Recovery

Recovery is one small word but the process of recovery is anything but small and easy. My stay at Weill Cornell was definitely shorter...

Post-Op

I was warned that when I wake up from surgery I would be on a ventilator and not be able to speak or breathe on my own. They warn...

The Big Day -- The Surgery

November 15th, 2019 -- a day I will never forget and a day I never thought would actually come. 5:30am Wake up call for vital testing &...

Preparing for surgery

I write this 2 months later, so that I have had time to recover, reflect & think before writing all these posts. Preparing for this...

How Are You Doing?

That question, I cannot count the amount of times I have been asked that lately. I am so grateful for the outpouring of love and support...

Support System

After writing my last post, if anyone read it (ha!) I realized I did not speak about 1 very important thing. My support system. My...

And just like that, its over

Anyone who says IVF is a breeze, is some kind of superhero. It is obviously manageable, doable and something if I had too I would do...

Bruised Up

Well let me tell you this journey is not easy. No matter what anyone says or what their situation, IVF is NO WALK IN THE PARK. As I have...

Wedding Proposal!

So you know that one friend that is always single, always has a hard time finding guys to text her back let alone date? That friend that...

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