The Money $$$$

The one thing you always want to ask about and either are too scared or don't want to ask about. So I am here to talk MONEY.

IVF or IUI or Surrogacy can have astronomical costs along with them. Are they worth doing, hopefully (ha!) but as people say money isn't everything, but let me tell you it's a hell of a lot easier if you have a lot of it!

The hard thing about infertility or pre-existing condition that do not allow you to concieve naturally are not black or white. There is a ton of gray areas. And that is also true for costs and medical bills. Unfortunately each case for IVF is different in some way shape or form.

Now some cases IVF or IUI is covered under insurances. So ALWAYS talk to you HR department, insurance company, your spouses company (if you are lucky enough to have one!) before you move forward with IVF. IVF can be super exhausting mentally, physically & financially but know what you are getting into first.

Unfortunately for me, my insurance company covers a whopping 0% of my IVF! SO YAY! And my partner, my amazing and supportive boyfriend, works for himself (more on him later) so his insurance covers a whole 0% as well. And we also aren't married yet (YES I said YET, oh it's coming soon)

So once we figured out we would have to pay out of pocket that is when you talk to your fertility doctor or clinic. There are fees and bills for everything. The ultrasounds, the blood work, the shots, the medications, the samples for the men, the clinic fees, the bathroom fees (ha! just kidding) And that is just for the IVF portion of it. Then if you are unable to conceive on your own, like me, you will need to also save up every penny you will ever make in your life to pay a surrogate.

Now every time I hear the work surrogate, I think of Phoebe Buffay from Friends. She became a surrogate carrier for her brother and sister-in-law. LUCKY THEM, they did not need to pay a surrogate, legal fees, clinic fees, or anything like that. But asking someone in your life to carry your child for you is something difficult. Unfortunately my boyfriend and I do not think we will have someone in our life who will be willing to do this for us so we will be looking for a surrogate when the time is ready for us to be parents.

That process is also long, challenging and expensive. But ultimately if you want to be a parent to your biological child and cannot carry this is your option. We should be grateful that we have an option, I know I am. Yes it sucks, yes it is expensive, yes the shots hurt, but if this road leads me to a child, isn't it all worth it? I DAMN HOPE SO!

Surrogacy is a tricky subject. Not every state has legalized surrogacy and until somewhat recently there have been a couple legal cases where the surrogate has won custody over the child they birthed. CRAZY right?! So knowing those facts you have to be smart and go about it in the best way possible. You need a clinic you trust, a surrogacy agency you trust, lawyers that are damn good and an amazing support system. ALSO side-note, I think it is absolutely crazy that not every state in the US has legalized surrogacy. Some of us with pre-existing conditions or infertility issues, or personal reasons cannot conceive naturally and there is no reason I can think of to why it should not be legal everywhere. We are not choosing to have children this way, but this is the path God put us on and sometimes it isn't the easy road.

I am incredibly lucky to have such an amazing support system. MY boyfriend is amazing with everything and accepts me the way I am. He is younger than me so figuring out all of this IVF stuff while we still weren't engaged or married was a tough conversation and issue. I was always scared I wouldn't find someone who loves me how I am, ailments and all, but I did and I could not be more grateful. Also my parents are so incredible and helpful with everything, without them I would not be able to go through this process.

Now you are probably asking yourself, when will she shut up and get to the numbers portion of it and why does she ramble so much. Well here you go!

IVF/IUI ~ Generally costs anywhere from $20,000-$25,000 (give or take)

This includes: doctor visits, hormone pills, hormone shots, ultrasounds, surgery, etc.

Surrogacy ~ Generally costs anywhere from $50,000-$120,000 (give or take)

The difference in price can be because you know the person who will agree to be your surrogate, your legal fees, your agency you go with, the variation is real.

SO if anyone knows a rich person, a person willing to have my baby, a very generous foundation, I will TAKE THEIR NAMES.

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